3.19.2010

Pet Peeve. No! A Raging Pitbull Peeve!

"Thank your calling Cheapskate & Partners. If you know your party's extension you may dial it at any time. For sales press one, for manufacturing press two..." blah, blah, blah etc.
1m30s later

"To access the company directory press one."
"1"

"Please spell your party's first and last name using the telephone keypad, followed by the pound key."

B-I-L-L-J-O-H-N-S-O-N #

"Sorry, no such name in the directory. Please check spelling and try again."

B-I-L-L-J-O-H-N-S-O-N #

"Sorry, blah, blah, blah..."

"0"

"Thank you for calling Cheapskate & Partners. If you know..."

1m30s later

"To access the company directory press one."
"1"

"Please spell...blah, blah, blah"

B-I-L-L-J-O-H-N-S-O-N #

"Sorry...blah, blah, blah"

B-I-L-L-F-U-C-K-I-N-G-J-O-H-N-S-O-N-T-H-E-P-R-E-S-I-D-E-N-T-O-F-T-H-I-S-C-R-A-P-A-S-S-C-O-M-P-A-N-Y-T-H-A-T-I-S-T-O-O-C-H-E-A-P-T-O-H-A-V-E-A-N-O-P-E-R-A-T-O-R #

"One moment, please and we will transfer your call."
30s later

"Thank you for calling Cheapskate & Partners...blah, blah, blah"

SLAM!

Epiphany: William Johnson, maybe?!

"Thank you for calling Cheapskate & Partners...blah, blah, blah

W-I-L-L-I-A-M-J-O-H-N-S-O-N #

"Sorry...blah, blah, blah"

SLAM!

Total Elapsed Time: Around 9 minutes. Ate two Reece's Cups to calm down. Made the next dial.

"Thank you for calling The Uppity Privately Owned High Tech Company. Many of your questions can be answered on our website at www dot... blah, blah, blah. For access to the company directory press 1."
1m 45s

"1"

"Thank you for calling The Uppity Privately Held Tech Company. We're changing the world one customer at a time. On March 21 TUPHTC will be holding a webinar to present...blah, blah, blah"
2m later

"To reach sales press 1, to reach HR press 2, to reach the lab press 3, to reach customer service press 4, to reach the executive directory press 5."

"5"

"Thank you for calling The Uppity Privately Held Tech Company. We're changing Bio Science with unsurpassed customer service and streamlined...blah, blah, blah."
SLAM!

Found the Vodka bottle in my desk. Took a swig to calm down. Made the next dial. My Kingdom to have an operator answer my call.

4 comments:

  1. I despise getting caught in the labryinthian horror of company phone menus and cyclical directories...happens throughout the day in my work and makes me want to take a rifle up a tower and take hostages.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I couldn't agree more, check this out, you'll love it:

    http://theoatmeal.com/comics/customer_service

    ReplyDelete
  3. David,
    Great site! I'll take the punch,too.
    LD

    ReplyDelete
  4. MLS,
    I really don't understand what these corporations are thinking. It's insulting to the caller.

    ReplyDelete