11.28.2010

She Knows What You're Re-Gifting

A pal sent this along to me yesterday and I've probably tried it a hundred times. I'm posting this in the spirit of sharing one's new-found addictions--in this case, attempting to trip up a computer (or something) with far superior skills than me. The only time I seem to beat this I realize I'm looking at the original number and not the resulting number after the math. So I look at the resulting number and damn...

How is this done?! Please. Somebody tell me how this works. I know I'll feel stupid, but what's new...

11.06.2010

Wisdom From A Civil Servant

"Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo; and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

11.04.2010

Tush Hieroglyphics (Send Yours In)

(_ ^_)
sore ass

{_~~0~~_}
swishy ass


(_XXX!_)
kiss my ass

(_nO_)
leave my ass alone

(_zzz_)
tired ass

(_E=mc2_)
smart ass

(_$_)
money coming out of his ass

(_?_)
dumb ass

(_(real)_)
ass hole

(_*_)
tight ass

(_%_)
ass wipe

(_ =:^0 _)
ass face

)_ ? _(
bass ackwards

(_4Q_)
bad ass

(_''''o''''_)
hairy ass

( __(!)__)
big ass

(_-->O_)
ass hole buddy

(_"kick o-->"_)
kick ass

( ___=O=___ )
lard ass

(_(A+)_)
great ass
(_(10!)_)
perfect ass

(_nothing_)
lazy ass

( __!O?__)
^ >
^ >
^ >
jump your ass

(_Ouch!_)
smack your ass

(_>>>>O<<<<_)
shove it up your ass

(_09_)
asinine
(_mia =o= culpa_)
sorry ass