12.12.2010

Inner Peace: It's Easy

I am passing this advice on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives, especially at Christmas.
By following this simple advice heard recently on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished." 

So, I looked around my house this morning before the family awoke to inventory all the things I've started and hadn't finished, thinking the inner peace would serve me well later today when I go on my Christmas shopping expedition.

After a thourough inventory of "The Unfinished", I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle Tequila, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake we made Saturday, and some Doritos. Also, I cooked up and ate the opened bacon in the fridge, chasing it with the half bottle of Rebel Yell bourbon I found hiding behind the wine bottles in the bar. I wondered what happened to that Yell.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now. Pass this on to those who you think might be in need of inner peace.

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